There once was this Zen master sitting on a small stone bench, studying his small Japanese rock garden…

There are only five rocks in the master’s garden. Each was chosen for its individual perfection, as well as its unique relationship to the other stones. One day a visitor comes to the garden. The visitor steps slowly around the tiny space, contemplating the rake-grooved gravel and the stones. Eventually the visitor turns to the Zen master and exclaims, “It is perfect.” The Zen master shakes his head solemnly and says, “No, it will be perfect when there are only three stones.””

Throwback: Organized Konfusion – Walk Into The Sun (Bill K Mix) (don lowed)

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Throwback: Organized Konfusion – Fudge Pudge (Bob T Remix) (don lowed)

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The soul of a Buryat novice travels to the center of the world, where it meets, in an amorous encounter, the nine wives of Tekha, the god of … dance.

Dryhump Champion: NHB – Technique (Original Mix) (don lowed)

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The Magician, his breast bare, stands before an altar on which are his Burin, Bell, Thurible, and two of the Cakes of Light. In the Sign of the Enterer he reaches West across the Altar, and cries: Hail Ra, that goest in Thy bark Into the Caverns of the Dark! He gives the sign of Silence, and takes the Bell, and Fire, in his hands. East of the Altar see me stand With Light and Musick in mine hand! He strikes Eleven times upon the Bell 333 — 55555 — 333 and places the Fire in the Thurible. I strike the bell. I light the Flame: I utter the mysterious Name. Fuzzy Codgitator… these are my halloween songs.

Fingerbanger 1: Squarepusher – The Exploding Psychology (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 2: Photek – UFO (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 3: Aphex Twin – Come To Daddy (don lowed)

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He strikes Eleven times upon the Bell. Now I begin to pray: Thou Child, Holy Thy name and undefiled! Thy reign is come; Thy will is done. Here is the Bread; here is the Blood. Bring me through midnight to the Sun! Save me from Evil and from Good! That Thy one crown of all the Ten Even now and here be mine. AMEN. He puts the first Cake on the Fite of the Thurible.?

Fingerbanger 4: Sixtoo – Duration Pt. 4 (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 5: Dj Shadow – Dark Days (Main Theme) (don lowed)

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Tricks n Treats: Tino – Vampire Circus (Dubby Killer Dub) (don lowed)

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At last I lifted up mine eyes, and beheld; and lo! the flames of violet were become as tendrils of smoke, as mist at sunset upon the marsh-lands. “And in the midst of the moon-pool of silver was the Lily of white and gold. In this Lily is all honey, in this Lily that flowereth at the midnight. In this Lily is all perfume; in this Lily is all music. And it enfolded me.

Fuckshit. Warsaw was top 10 songs of the year for me already. Where once there was singular vision, now it is blurred. Where it seems to be natural to compare two things and arrive at a conclusion to say one is better than the other, nothing is that sequitous, and to try and adequately delineate more than a novelty difference between … wait a minute…. how did they add the mother of all that is beautiful and agressive (909 acidlines) to this song and then break it down into some sort of Never Ending Story inspired synth fest half way through it? Not really how. But why? Come On GA – I realize you have a penchant for downtempo and I realize Whitelight is upbeat counterpoint album… I get it, I even like it… but it doesn’t excuse the maxi pads you shoved in the crotch of this song. Someone needs to collabo these two songs for one massive one.

Dryhump Champion: Groove Armada – Warsaw (Whitelight Remix) (don lowed)

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This is the Blacklight version – and I’m still getting it tattooed into my left lobe with lazers.

Fingerbanger : Groove Armada – Warsaw (don lowed)

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I’m all over the place this week. Geek.

Fingerbanger 1: The Drums – Lets Go Surfing (The Raveonettes Remix) (don lowed)

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Who would have thought that Biggie would be almost as ‘notorious’ 14 years after his death as when he was alive. Was he the fucking Elvis of hiphop?  Elvis’s core fans were girls… Biggie was no dreamboat. Nope. Dude was just fucking raw on the mic.

Fingerbanger 2: Notorious Big – Gimme The Loot (Manni Dee Remix) (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 3: Lunice – Hitmanes Anthem (don lowed)

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If you’ve been around as long as Fuzzy and I, you know how this shit goes. But if you haven’t I’ll let you in on the Life of a Music Sub-Genre. Step 1. Several (or less) musicians innovate a new sound because that’s what musicians do. For a while it has a small following, slowly growing and evolving. Step 2. The new sound is eclectic but incredible, music taste spotters start to get boners on the weird new shit coming out, slowly early adopters inspire the general masses ( Who catch on sometimes years later thinking they found something new & cool). Step 3.  5,000 wannabes rush in and talentlessly imitate the sound into the ground with cookie cutter garbage trying to be “cool guy” and fuck girls out of their league. Step 4. Out of the 5,000 – maybe 100 have actual talent and make decent songs which give them an opportunity to continue innovating. The rest continue making shit music while hyping (aka attention whoring) themselves to the other 15 people hyping themselves in some sort of attention whore mutual maturabatory suckfest. Step 5. Overall the music gets stale. Taste spotters have already been hyping something new a long time ago. The masses, who only liked it because it was the new and cool thing, move on. The people that actually loved the music, aka die hard fans – continue to die hard. The end.

This is a murderish dubwobble track for the most fiendish among us. Worthy of a speaker hump. Not meant for listening to while playing beer pong.

Fingerbanger 4: Flux Pavilion – Excuse Me (don lowed)

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I’m not going to hide it anymore… call it a guilty pleasure if you must, I dig this track. There. I said it. Whatever.

Fingerbanger 5: Misty Woods & Warboy – Head Surfing (don lowed)

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Tunawax is the 2010 Intercontinental Dryhump Champions. But rather than hold it over your heads, we’re giving back…Finely picked dance tracks to go cotton to cotton with.

Foamo brings one hot mess of a song intelligently designed to test the evolutionary capacity of the sound systems. Question is… can god make a speaker so loud that even he can’t dance in front of it? Did Yeshua invent the raver hop? Did Judas ever ball dance?

Dryhump Champion: Foamo – Generate Some Heat (don lowed)

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There’s nothing special about Cosmobile, is there? Three ordinary-looking guys from Finland with guitars and a small drum kit.  Why should anyone care?

Tonic: Cosmobile – Curtain (don lowed)

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You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.

Fingerbanger 1: Eliza Doolittle – Money Box (Jamie XX Remix) (don lowed)

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I don’t know how anyone can be anything but an explorer of the endless; and ultimately conclude that there is nothing to procure but the journey. Alex Ebert is obviously going to battle with the Pseudodoxia Epidemica or Enquries into very many received tenets and commonly presumed truths. If anyone can find me a better copy of this song, please let me know. This low bitrate hurts my ears almost in equal proportion to the absolute noxious enjoyment of this song that makes me smile.

Fingerbanger 2: Alexander – Truth (Edward Sharpe Project) (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 3: Suuns – PVC (don lowed)

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Fingerbanger 4: Siriusmo – Einmal In Der Woche Schreien (Scream Once In A Week) (don lowed)

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At the time Phoenix released United I had some affiliations with Astralwerks, else it would have never made my radar. It did though, and in conjunction with Kings of Convenience, Doves, Trans Am, (and even Hot Water Music), intrigued me to step away from the straight techno & hiphop that had been my main feed. But it was really United with it’s Punk Steely Dan lush songs that was able to first confuse my musical affiliations and make me realize I had boxed myself in, and was missing out. Hard to understand that was 10 years ago. Now and again – Phoenix brings some immense lush concoction perfect for a drive along the lake road to infinity which reminds me:

Rule #570 – Forget yourself to remember who you are.

Fingerbanger 5: Phoenix – Love Like A Sunset Pt. 3 (Tong & Rogers Wonderland Remix) (don lowed)

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over//end//out – p.tone

For you today is an insomniac vicious mouth foaming kick and snare Donyale Luna overdose from Drop the Lime. Your anxiety gets once a week to peak – don’t ask me for Ex – I don’t have any.

Dryhump Champion: Drop The Lime – Sex Sax (TAI Remix) (don lowed)

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Tuesday Tonic: Caribou – Sun (Altrice’s Only What You Gave Me Remix) (don lowed)

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