We could go on for a bit about the Egyptians, Pagans, Gnosticism, Judaism, etc. and how Christianity basically just stole (sampled?) all it’s material; texts, stories, imagery, etc. from other cultures.  Such as…The yellow circle behind Jesus’s head first showed up in iconography over 1000 years before Jesus (BC) as the sun god RA ( who then is the sun/son of god that you worship on Sun-day?). And it was the Babylonian Zodiac that first put the Sun on the Cross (Crux Constellation) under which it stays (or dies) in the lowest position in the sky for 3 days before it rises again to renew life as days begin to become longer and warmer. Sound familiar? Also, the entirety of the ‘New Testament” is a collection of biblical manuscripts of various origin (arguably Gnostic) that were cherry picked to tell the side of the story that the early Christian Bishops though best fit their agenda… of course there are other biblical manuscripts now lost (thought destroyed? ie. Dead Sea Scrolls) which somehow didn’t make it into the Christian version. Oh, how upsetting for some people. Of course this always seems to come to a frothy hypocritical boil about this time of year seeing as how so many Christians are happily ignorant of their cultural assimilation and are taught that if they question why things don’t add up it means their ‘faith’ is being tested and they should stop. So when I found the following I knew I had to post it because I couldn’t have said it better:

“Put the Christ Back in Christmas?”… It’s Time for a Little History Lesson

Every time I encounter these proclamations of the “evils of a secular Christmas” a small vein bursts in my head…and I’m running out of brain mass…

While I support Christian’s rights to celebrate the holiday however they see fit, I do not support their indoctrination. Unfortunately, Christian’s have quite the history of adopting pagan and other religious traditions, condemning those communities, and passing off the traditions as their own…ignorance of history breeds hypocrisy. And we know all too well what hypocrisy has gotten our country.

What is the problem with the secularization of Christmas? The holiday’s history is a complicated mosaic of different traditions and beliefs, thus attributing the inspiration or ‘The First Christmas’ to the birth of Jesus is creating a bastardization of the holiday. So lets take a look back into the history of Christmas:

If it is true that Jesus were a real historical figure, it is the consensus of most historians and theologians based on available evidence that December 25th was not the actual date of his birth. (Most accounts place it in the spring.) December 25th was originally a Roman winter solstice festival known as Sol Invictus, which celebrated the “rebirth” of the Sun; several Sun gods were worshiped, including Sol and Mithras. Because it was already such a popular pagan holiday, it was claimed as the birthday of Jesus. Even so, celebrating the birth of Jesus was condemned and looked down upon by Christians for most of history, and Christians didn’t start celebrating Christmas as we know it until the 1800s. Later, Christians took over German mid-winter festival celebrations which used evergreen trees and holly as symbols of eternal life. Yule logs, mistletoe, ornamenting the tree…virtually every aspect of Christmas iconography originated from non-Christian traditions.

Even the gift-giving tradition does not derive from the three wise men in the bible, as many believe. In fact, gift exchange derived from Saturnalia, a popular Roman holiday dating to 217 BCE that celebrated the god Saturn. Saturnalia involved sacrifices, a school holiday, and, yes, the exchange of gifts.

Traditions, like religions, are in a constant state of flux. As cultures evolve so do their memes and traditions. They are malleable. We celebrate Halloween: kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy door to door; adults dress up in costumes and parade and/or party. We do not celebrate the Celtic festival Samhain, from which Halloween is derived, warding off evil spirits by disguising ourselves as them, or slaughtering livestock and casting their bones into bonfires.

Even the “Christmas tree” has a colorful history: The Prophet Jeremiah condemned as Pagan the ancient Middle Eastern practice of cutting down trees, bringing them into the home and decorating them. Of course, these were not really Christmas trees, because Jesus was not born until centuries later, and the use of Christmas trees was not introduced for many centuries after his birth. Apparently, in Jeremiah’s time the “heathen” would cut down trees, carve or decorate them in the form of a god or goddess, and overlay it with precious metals. Some Christians feel that this Pagan practice was similar enough to our present use of Christmas trees that this passage from Jeremiah can be used to condemn both:

Jeremiah 10:2-4: “Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.” (KJV).

Arguing that secular culture is ruining the holiday and calling for some sort of “return” to the “true meaning” of Christmas creates an irony fit for a Shakespearean play. What is most mistaken, and even offensive, about the slogan “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” is that Christians are attempting to claim ownership of and priority over the entire holiday season, not just Christmas. They want you to believe that there is an anti-Christian conspiracy afoot that wants to destroy Christianity one holiday at a time. What’s next, a secular War on Lent? The people who are complaining seem to be assuming that Christmas belongs exclusively to them – and anyone who wants to “join in” must submit to Christian symbols, Christian traditions, and Christian practices. This push for religious superiority is abhorrent…

Of course what it means is pretty much all current Christmas tradition is Pagan in origin, to which we can be proud to celebrate by decorating our trees drunk, naked, and full of IDGAF. Just don’t forget to put the star on top…

Dryhump Champion: Le Knight Club – Santa Claus (don lowed)

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Dryhump Champion: Le Knight Club – Holiday On Ice (don lowed)

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Dryhump Champion: Le Knight Club – Holiday On Ice (Ghosts Of Venice Edit) (don lowed)

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